How to Choose Songs for Your Wedding

From a musical standpoint, the first thing to which your guests will be subjected at the reception will be the cocktail hour/dinner music. During my consultations with brides and grooms, they often ask me, “How can I ensure that my dinner music isn’t a ‘snore-fest?’“

One of the biggest traps into which brides and grooms fall when selecting music to play during the dinner portion of the reception is mistakenly thinking that they must play classical music in order to match the elegance of the wedding reception. Nothing could be further from the truth! You want your wedding reception to be memorable – not “sleepy!”  Often times, classical music treads the line of being too slow and sleepy. At Celebrity DJ, we recommend selecting an upbeat mix of non-obtrusive background music from the likes of Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, Dean Martin, Harry Connick, Jr., Nora Jones, etc. We have used this approach for hundreds of wedding receptions over the years, and I cannot tell you how many times that, during the course of dinner, a guest has approached me, provided me with his/her mailing address, and requested that I send a copy of our “dinner music mix” CD to them. It’s always a hit!

Of course, there is A LOT more music to choose than just dinner music. What about the couple’s first dance, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, etc.?

Palmer Mowry wedding © 2011 Allee Photography

Let’s start with the couple’s first dance.  The couple’s first dance song is the one song that I tell the brides and grooms I flat-out cannot and will not choose for them, and the reason why is that it should be something VERY personal to them. If you don’t have a bona fide choice right off the bat, start thinking along the lines of the popular love songs that were being played on the radio the year you met. Maybe it was the first song you ever danced to at someone else’s wedding or a song that was playing in the restaurant during your first date. There are a variety of ways you can go about selecting your couple’s first dance; just make sure that the song means something to both of you and that, of course, you both agree on it.

Father/daughter dances and mother/son dances are a bit more standard and easier to choose. If you are drawing a blank on what should be playing while you’re dancing with your father or mother, often times, simply involving them in the process makes things easier. It takes the onus off of you and helps your mother or father feel involved in the process. Simply ask them which song to which THEY would like to dance with you on your special day, and 9 times out of 10, they can come up with something wonderful.

The one thing to watch out for regarding father/daughter dances as well as mother/son dances is what I like to call the “appropriateness factor.” Often times, people hear the first few lines of a song and say, “That’s it– that’s the one; it’s perfect!” However, upon deeper review of the lyrics, you realize that the song was written from a man to a woman in a romantic relationship — not from a father to his daughter or a mother to her son. The last thing you want is for your guests to be thinking “awkward” during your special dance with your father or mother.

If you are still stuck for song ideas, please click here to take a look at our “song suggestions” document. These are very common songs that we have used as a planning resource for brides and grooms.